An Apology

We’re not perfect
Do you ever wonder why we’re holding on to this anger?
I haven’t forgotten what we’re fighting for
But I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth it anymore.

I want the you I used to know back
I’m not willing to forget, just willing to forgive
Or is it the other way around?

All I can think is how short life can be
This is pointless
We’re not getting any younger;
let’s pick up where we left off
Let’s start a new dance,
let’s write a new song.

Do we want to get older and
regret it for the rest of our lives?
So many what-ifs that I don’t want to try
But this, I think is right.

The thought that we may never speak again kills me
And I’ll accept it if we don’t, as tough as it may be.
Now all that can save us is a good deed
An apology won’t fix it all, but, baby, it’s all I need.

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Melancholy is in the Air

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,

And there is no one there to dry your tears…

~Adele, Make You Feel My Love

What do you do with the memories? Don’t you wish sometimes Memory Lane did exist in physical matter so you could revisit, sit by a tree and stare at it all? The past should have no business in the present — shouldn’t — but it does.

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Artist meets artist, and one is not amused

I was waiting for my laundry, minding my own business, sketching a masterpiece on my iPad, when this guy walked up and asked, “Are  you interested in listening to my Hip Hop CD?” He, or a friend of his, is an “upcoming artist” apparently and he was distributing their music. I wasn’t interested because, after seeing the cover image — a big-booty woman on all fours wearing a g-string… — I thought, more of the same. (If you’ve seen mainstream hip hop videos, you know what kind of images I’m talking about).

Well, he stuck around despite my rejection, and he was a Curious George.

“So what are you doing? You’re doing homework or something?” he asked.

“Just playing on my iPad.”

He leaned forward and peeked. He peeked! Rude!

“You’re an artist or something?”

“Ha ha,” I laughed. Haha “No, I’m just killing time.”

“Let me see…that looks pretty good!”

Gosh, no. He was just hitting on me, right? Had to be; my illustrations are pretty bad! He went on, questioning if I didn’t believe in myself, if I had no support system. Then, he insinuated I was just a young girl trying to find herself.

“What are you going to school for?”

“I already graduated.”

“Really? What did you study?”

“Spanish,” I said. “With a concentration in International Studies,” I quickly added, especially after seeing the look of disbelief in his face. It is the look I get from everyone who knows I’m a native Spanish-speaker, but who ignores the reason that I chose that major. (Hint: last-minute decision.)

Even though it can be a little upsetting when people feel that they have a say on your career choices, it was an eye-opening what this guy was trying to say. I’m not too good at letting “loose” around strangers, thus I didn’t give him much of my time. I laughed out of nervousness, but he was one of the only people ever to say that my sloppy sketches didn’t look too bad.

It is a lesson to us all that we have the power to inspire!


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Staying focused is hard

I’ve never been able to finish reading a book in one day or one week, not even in a month. Short attention span is a bitch. It took me a year to complete a 200-page book called The Bitch In The House. Nonfiction, especially by funny comedians, tend to hook me quicker. In an attempt to read more, I’ve purchased The Bed Wetter by Sarah Silverman; Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler; Bossy Pants by Tina Fey; and an audio book (which is not funny at all, just depressing) called The Story of Mary MacLane by McLane herself. I’ve finished none.

They’re all interesting books, but I keep putting them down. The Story of Mary McLane, however, really got me to read (or listen) farther than the rest. Obviously I must be into depressing nonfiction. I listened to that book whenever I went on long train rides (a sign that maybe audio books are a better alternative for people with short attention span). Well, I have finished none.

This, people, is why I read and write short stories. It’s not easy for some of us to stay on track. Where was I gain…

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Rain on me

“Welcome to My Life” – I like that song by Simple Plan. It’s so relatable sometimes. The girl in the drawing feels just like it.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Are you desperate to find something more

Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With their big fake smiles and stupid lies

While deep inside you’re bleeding.

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