No fall air was cool enough. No comfort found in words. Every little sound in the soulless night was a sinking hole. But their words… those words against the screen screamed like deep red blood. Seen by the blind, a voice heard by the deaf, mind read by the nescient. A nonexistent heart beat that could be found without a stethoscope.
Disregard. Betrayal. Egotism. Use… All of the above. The kind of feeling no mortal should ever have to experience. How do I know? I’ve lived long enough.
Rubbed all in your face when you’ve been nothing but kind, careful with your own words, hoping to kill not even a moth.
The same questions remain. Above all, how to go on?
You’re supposed to know. The lessons collected on the miles you’ve walked. The time wasted… you wish you could take back, but then again, how would you learn? Not that you ever do, but it’s nice to pretend you’ve got everything under control.
Yet, you still don’t know it all. Yet, you can’t let go. Yet, you can’t mend your aching soul. Big or small, the wounds hurt the same — how can a life be so?
Into the depths of despair I’ve crawled. Coming out of it alive only to make it so far to wreck my heart one more time and call it a life. But is it really that? How is it “life” when you’re deader than dead if some things don’t go right. And, f*ck, yes, I’m mad that I drifted instead of getting up and following the clearer path.
