I ask myself today what’s changed? Heart beating with the same ache, People I’ve loved so long can’t reciprocate, And I settled for crumbs they call affection Given all my attention, dealt with their rejection; I understand it was f—ked up, in retrospection. Today I tried to numb the pain again, day by day, But…
The fear of being stuck in life… It’s like looking around and just knowing, you were born to do more; you can do more than this. It’s like seeing the end of the day every single day, knowing you can’t but wishing you could change the sunset’s hues. It’s like pushing against a brick wall…
I don’t know how or when it started the first time I told myself these lies, grown so tall it’s hard to find the truth hidden somewhere deep in the twisted roots. One more night, I kept saying. And then it was two…and three… and it seems now too infinite to count. How do I…
Of all the things I could’ve wished for, I wished for one thing only: sleep. Not because the bags under my eyes, with every passing night, got darker, heavier, deeper. Not because the world around me slept and, so, it felt like the applicable thing to do. Not because Vogue and aestheticians demanded eight hours…
Nothing worse to a writer than meeting blank pages on the daily and not meeting the rhymes or the lines she dreamt of on the night before the dark ages. The past year was one of my best writing years and it got me thinking; what the hell, Universe? How can a year that breaks…
When I think back to all I’ve had and how I blew it and the things they ruined, and how hard it can be to repair a feeling so fleeting but so filling, there’s almost always been this culprit and it’s impulsive and repulsive, and most of all, destructive. Some of us inherit it and…
“You miss him?” I tell them not, can’t miss what you never had. Never had a father figure, but never mind, mom was stricter in my childhood the only victor. Can’t put him anywhere in the picture of a now damaged structure that once could’ve been salvaged if our relationship hadn’t been ravaged by neglect…
Be it the time of flowers Days of snow, When too much sunshine Darkens my glow Rain on my shoulders A punch in the gut Pulls my weight down My airways are shut No safe haven found in seasons No comfort for an aching soul My bed holds me in all positions But it knows…
One morning, I blinked and reality wasn’t any longer. “Fourteen days,” I was told. An early Spring break…I couldn’t be mad about that. But just a little over the due Spring break and we’d all be back. Would it be like going back to normal? I was sure of that. Looking at a room full…
“Honestly, have you ever seen her get mad?” In my head, I’ve been true to myself. In my head, I smiled only when I meant it. In my head, I saw no reason why I wouldn’t be able to show you the path leading to the real me, and that the view to my little…
My closed eyes won’t let me see what’s right in front of me, but will navigate deep into the what-used-to-be. My attempt to drop the baggage as I make my way out of this black hole that seems to have no fin or starting point, has failed me every time, bringing me back to that…