Colors of my vibe and heart

I forget what sweet things I want to write
when I look back and realize
how many unsent letters I kept back
in invisible drawers addressed to no one

Knowing damn well there was only
one recipient in the pile,
only one who didn’t deserve my time
but got the best of me day and night

Today I sit here in my blues
looking at an earth gone dark
trying to make sense of the colors of my heart
wishing it was only black and white
to save me from telling so many emotions apart

I was happy once, uninterruptedly content
couldn’t understand what they say
about mood swings or down days

But everything’s changed,
once a heart’s torn over and over
it hardens like cement

There’s still glee in me
I see it now and then:

when the moon doesn’t phase me,
when the sun is out bright
when I can remember what
sweet things I wanted to write

and I sing in the shower
and the drawers with your letters
I slam them shut
and I don’t look back.