I knew it as soon as I got in the car. I knew you’d be a friendly chatty guy.
“I’ll call you right back, I’ll call you right back,” you said to whomever was on the phone, hanging up at the speed of light. Then, you greeted me with all smiles and that line. “Tell your man you’ll text him back cause you gotta talk to your driver now.”
When I heard you say those words, I could read through your game plan. My intuition might’ve failed me terribly at other living times of life, but not now.
Most times, I know an interested man (and a player) when I see one. But, I have just one question: what interested you about me? My sense of humor? My intellects? My manners? My body? Because I know for sure my face couldn’t have been it. So, what was it, Mr. potential ex man?
I feel like I’ve been wearing a full hijab for the past two years, and quite frankly, I’ve become quite used to it. Sometimes I even like it. The pros: I can hide my face under these pandemic masks when I don’t feel like being myself in public or socializing. The cons: besides the fact that I wish this was all over and that I could breathe normally? I can’t be seen. What is organic dating, even?
The pandemic hasn’t even phased most people, it seems. But for me — someone who likes a more organic approach when it comes to human relations and all that good stuff — it has had a little detrimental effect.
But every now and then I come across people like you, who can see through any types of masks; who can almost fool people like me.
“I’m sorry, my map said you were still a minute away,” I said to you, when I was a minute late for my pickup.
My map didn’t really say that, for your information, but I wasn’t going to tell you that. I just got distracted by texting. And, if I can be honest, I don’t know sh*t about car makes either, so it took me longer than it should have to recognize your car.
“It’s OK, don’t worry!” you said, all cool. “My mom says to me, if you’re picking up a woman, always be prepared to wait.”
Gosh, you sure know what to say to get the attention of a woman who has a little time management deficit. How did you know what to say to me? You were so good with your rhetoric, and so on point, that I already knew where things were headed.
That’s why I kept spitting up new topics — one after another — to distract you from potentially asking for my number. But nothing could distract or stop a suave guy like you from attaining his goal, right?
I’m sorry I kept laughing at the end. I didn’t know what else to do or say to keep you from asking any more personal questions. And I didn’t want to lead you on, even though I knew (oh, do I know) you do this with all the pretty girls that put foot in your ride.
Although my intuition was right, I was secretely hoping that it was just you going the extra mile, like other drivers, because you wanted a nice rating. I didn’t want to disappoint you or hurt your ego before I left, but my answer is no; don’t expect my call.
