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“Go talk to him!”
I gulped. I hadn’t had enough tequila to even consider such a daring move.
I’d been to so many places around the world, but for some reason, Los Angeles seemed a little intimidating at the time. All the celebrities popping up out of nowhere, and I forcing myself to act like it wasn’t a big deal (when in reality I really wanted to pose for a picture with, say, Jessie J?) — was a little strange.
LA was my first grounds as a newly single woman in a very long time. I didn’t know exactly how to go about it; I had to relearn how to do a lot of things by myself — and making good use of all my sudden freedom was one of them.
I don’t know if I was more astonished, though, by the fact that I’d frozen at the thought of making the first move or that my guy friend was the one suggesting that I did.
“No way,” said I, “what do I even say?”
“Ask for his number, duh!”
Oh, men… They’re wired so differently, aren’t they?
But, “Holy, sh*t.” Was I surprised when, a few minutes later, my friend came back with the dude’s phone number.
The dude in question was an athletically fit and tall, light brown-haired, Californian male actor with a heart-crushing smile that (pardon the cliché) would light up a room. No, seriously; that smile did…at least for me.
I couldn’t even remember the last time someone caught my attention at first sight. He was that striking.
“You’re welcome,” said my friend, and it would be the first time that any of my friends would go and get a phone number for me. I thought it was hilarious. But, “Hey, he’s a handsome man, let’s be real,” said my (did I mention?) uber straight guy friend.
I had my hand over my mouth (and my ear-to-ear grin) the whole time. I was in disbelief. What is happening? I was officially legally single again. What a weird feeling — and how good it felt.
A couple more drinks later, I was loving it. I kept thinking of that Sex and The City line by my favorite singletona, Samantha Jones: “If you’re single, the world is your smorgasbord.”
How true and fun that was…
And still it is.
But I was such a Cowardly Lion. Me — the one always encouraging my girlfriends to never be afraid to make a move — suddenly became too old fashioned to practice what I preached. Needless to say, as far I knew, I made no impression on anyone that night.
In the end, I’m glad it didn’t go my way. I wasn’t ready.
For some of us, the fall can be hard and it can hurt us on the way if we stay too long, when it’s probably best if we get our head straight first. That moment in my life was one of those. You don’t always realize it, until years go by, but eventually everything falls into place.
Every stage of you is different, but equally meaningful. That’s why we sometimes fictionally “write letters to our younger selves” to correct our gullibility or whatever. * Shrugs *
Meaningless or not, I think we’ll always wish we’d done some things differently, even though it’ll all make sense at some point sooner or later in life. So, when in doubt, just go with your gut.
In my case, even though there was shame in my game that night in LA, I have no regrets.
