“Here’s to a fun night!” she raises her glass.
But the only thing he raises in response is an eyebrow. Studying the bottle now planted on the table, he tightens his lips, holding back a laugh.
“What’s the matter?” she asks.
“You wanna walk around with that?”
Puzzled, she glances at the bottle and right back at him. “It’s legal…”
“Cheap champagne? It should be illegal.”
“Your vodka isn’t all that either,” she refutes his disapproval. “Not like we’re finishing the whole bottle anyway… I knew we’d prob’ly get too drunk to appreciate the good sh—t.”
“Let’s just finish it up before we get to the park.”
“God, you’re such a poser…”
****
“How are you drunk before me?”
“I’m not.”
“You’re wasted.”
“I love you.”
“Ohhkayy, here we go, love you, too,” she says, rolling her eyes.
“No, like, I’m in love with you.”
“See, told ya you’re wasted.”
“We should be together.”
“Nonsense, you’re my best friend.”
“But I’m in love with you.”
“You need to sober up.”
“I really am—why don’t you love me? I’m in love with you!”
“First, you act like a d*ck and criticize my champagne choice and now you’re in love with me? Make up your mind.”
“How’s that related?”
“It’s getting late, let’s get out of here.”
“I wanna f—k you.”
She freezes. Her eyes shut as she tries to regain self-control. “What did you just say?”
“I wanna—”
“Never mind, don’t! We’re friends, for f—k’s sake, shut up.”
****
Her exasperated heavy breathing makes the cab driver slightly turn his head and it embarrasses her. So she looks out the window and sits back to calm her breathing.
“You’re too heavy for me to carry you, could you please stay awake for ten minutes?”
“Why don’t you love me?”
“Shut. Up.”
“Can I sleep over?”
“No f—kin’ way.”
This story has no end. She loses a friend to impulses every now and then.
