Anxiety – a sudden rush

Felt like a scream I couldn’t let out,
a heartbeat too fast for a small breath
chasing an anjali mudra to slow down

My heart on my chest I could feel
every pump under the fattest layers
of my skin

It’s like everything in your body is yelling
at you all at once, in a rush to find
the next move or the way out

Laser vision is suddenly a dream
wobbly knees beg to find a seat,
and your brain…oh, your mind,
becomes your biggest enemy
as your vitals decline

That sudden rush of worries and panics
and wishes to escape your current state,
I never understood before I felt it
in my own veins.

But as much as you want to flee
you realize you’ll only freeze
and be trapped in your own body
when you have anxiety.

I was never an anxious person. But ever since the beginning of the pandemic, my earliest recollection of ever feeling this explicable chaos, I have experienced moments of anxiety repeatedly.

Being aware of the triggers doesn’t make it less overwhelming, but thankfully self-awareness can help with (better) managing. These poetic lines is my attempt at painting what it’s like to feel anxious at any given moment. I know that for some people this can be more intense. Sending a hug to anyone who lives with long-term anxiety. I hope you find relief and ways to cope. 

Be well.