The Nerve (Excerpt)

Let me know when you’re done pretending
that in your mind there was no plan
that I was blindsided, kept tightly in the dark
until it all made sense for your selfish little heart
and my hips you no longer needed to climb.

I’ll spare my pettiness, I say,
but why should I?
when I have the right to be
an authoritarian about
who and what makes me cry.

You mouth that I don’t deserve it,
while your actions say otherwise.
The nerve! I screamed inside
as your callousness amplified.

Again and again, ’til the end of time,
your character’s proven to be
as feeble as humankind.

I should’ve known…what I already knew
and let slide in search of good times
the times I convinced myself
elsewhere this I wouldn’t find.

But amused I am not,
earth’s turning against me
and I can only watch
my naivety in this plot.

Now memories won’t leave my head,
things you wouldn’t but did anyway,
the words I fell for in the end
before knowing, when it came to you
flags would always be red.

Seduce Me to Use Me — a book of poems and short stories that I wrote on quarantine — is available now.

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