Age in The Time of Experts
So much has been said about age, yet so little should. Everyone seems to know what is best for other people at every stage of their life; from what to wear to who to be. Can you imagine what that’s like? Oh, wait, you can because we all see it every day — on TV, social media, in real life!
I’ve always had a strong opinion about this aging thing because I’ve had to hear opinions about how or when to “act your age” from people very close to me since I was a very young girl. I’m talking about my own mom.
In our Latino culture, especially in my mom’s times, keeping in mind “what people would say” or thought about one’s every action was almost essential. Everyone’s opinion mattered. So my mom, strongly believing this, has lived a very restrained life. I feel so bad that I have tried many times to talk her into seeing that this is harmful to her soul. Unfortunately, you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.
She’s tried to do the same with me, constantly suggesting that I don’t wear this or that because it’s inappropriate. “Says who?” my smart mouth always asks, and her stuttered response always gives it away. Her only supporting “fact” for a lot of things is religion. I think every now and then even she realizes that those age rules are baseless.
Since it is mostly women who are publicly shamed for how they act or what they wear when they’re older, I am convinced that social dress codes were once put in place by yet another man. It especially upsets me when I learn that the reason or suggestion behind a dress policy is simply sexism — because poor boys would get distracted if a girl’s shoulder is showing.
But what about when the woman is over fifty? This one upsets me even more because that older woman who dares feel good in her skin, in a culture that thinks she’s better off dead than show wrinkles, should actually be getting praised for it. Maybe there is a time and age for certain things, or maybe not. Let’s remember again that these are man-made rules. Oftentimes, religious-based.
I actually wrote this blog post because of a social media post I saw going viral for basically criticizing Dolly Parton’s look. The post said:
“77-year-old women shouldn’t be on stage pretending they’re 20. They should be at home spending time with loved ones and family.”
First of all, Chelsea Handler already responded to this one better than anyone could. Second, Dolly Parton looked great! Are you kidding me? The woman is closer to 80 with that spirit and still performing? GOALS, I say. And third, let me just say that the social media user’s comment was quite arrogant and idiotic. Trashing other (grown) women in order to gain more likes and attention is low and childish.
The thought in their little fantasy world that women should obey whatever fictional baseless silly social principles, don’t apply in real life.
It doesn’t cease to amaze me, though, how these days everyone thinks they’re an expert in morals and ethics. Why should Dolly Parton be wearing anything other than her own preference of clothing? What (do they think) gives them the authority to choose for others? Honestly, we should be ignoring those statements.
When it comes to choices, as women in this country very well know, there is always a lot to say. Too many opinions that should not concern you though. A single blog post won’t ever be enough, but I just wanted to add my two cents about dressing and acting one’s age. The old saying that age is just a number never gets old actually. And, if I may add another, you’re only as old as you feel. Go layered or go naked — your choice.
And whenever anybody lectures you on what you’re wearing or that it is inappropriate, hit them back with a simple question: Says who?
