Unraveling Thin Walls
My neighbors go quiet every so often. And on occasions, they’re as loud as a Saturday market. I can tell they’re a couple, unless their idea of “casual” also means living together. Their instability is loud. I can’t quite make out their day-long arguments, but I hear the yelling, the sobbing, and the door slamming. It got me thinking, if that’s love, then I don’t want it.
But of course, it is not. Though I never have and never could stay in that sort of relationship, I know toxic when I see it. I’d say theirs is way past toxicity; it’s lethal.
I grew up in a peaceful environment, so I can’t handle chaos too well as an adult. But this being a periodical “encounter,” I guess I can deal. Or am I just like them; unable to escape this abusive relationship? I don’t know what any of them gets out of it, but at least it gives me something to write about — right after the anxious state they put me in, that is.
Sometimes, they go completely quiet. I’d hear nothing for weeks to months. It makes me wonder if they finally got out of the cycle. Good for them, I’d say. The universe knows that can be difficult. But then I worry. What if he killed her? Or she killed him? I’m not exaggerating — with them, it’s that serious.
Every time I hear laughter or more than their voices, I feel relieved for them…and for me. But I have so many questions about this dramatic scenario: what exactly are they fighting about? Why is she the one who always ends up crying? Why do they keep repeating the pattern? I might never know the answers, but I’ll always wonder.
As for me, will I be the first one to leave this relationship for good? I think I know the answer to this one. But for now, it’s just a story that keeps unraveling.
