When You Give More than You Get

I won’t list specific situations, but many times in the past I acted in a selfish ways towards others. I’ve done things without thinking about their feelings or the consequences my actions could bring.

Subconsciously or not, though I’ve never been the kind to directly demand that all eyes be on me, I’ve occasionally made it all about me. Yet, in spite of this flawed system of mine that can sometimes be so indomitable, I recently came to the realization that I tend to give more than I get, without expecting anything in return.

It’s a genuine act of benevolence, because when you give more than you get, you know that it feels like it’s your duty to put others’ happiness before yours; that seeing them pleased will, in turn, please you, and you understand you get no reward for doing what’s right.

But when you do this emotional self check-in regularly, you may also realize that this is only partially true. Sometimes you do want some credit; you want, at the very least, to be appreciated.

Sadly, some people will see your kindness as weakness and use it to their advantage. After a while, and rightly so, once you’re able to digest that you’re being taken advantage of or taken for granted, you reach a breaking point, and for dignity’s sake you take it no more. Bravo! The only thing you should be taking is the same energy you give.

Reciprocity, I’ve learned, it’s crucial for a lot of things to survive — careers, friendships, romantic relationships, etc. The scale must be even. So if one day you wake up thinking that enough is enough, trust your gut. It is okay to want the same effort you put in.

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