Rambling in no particular order
Once I close that notebook and force the fat messy sharpie down the spiral binding, my brain understands that the day is over. And it rejoices. It is, indeed, a good feeling knowing you finished one or two tasks, when you’ve been so “ADD.” Even when knowing you’ll have to do it all over again tomorrow, the end of a day is an escape our brain needs and deserves.
My question is: does it ever really feel complete? It may feel like a life sentence if you hate what you do. That’s a good question: are you truly happy with the job you do for a living?
I think a lot about that, slowly killing myself in the process of avoiding killing myself with a dull lifestyle. I despise monotony. So, I jeopardize everything to play harder than I work. OK, maybe I don’t. Because, after all, I should leave something to risk for the next day.
Like you, I was brought into this world to do great things. (Well, that’s the expectation I set for myself.) But I have not a clue. And what is great anymore? I think I know, but do I?
Although common sense is starting to seem subjective these days, I go by its principle, methodically, to try and make intelligent decisions. No, it doesn’t always work out. Human nature knows no education or experience sometimes. Therefore, evidently, I screw up.
It’s funny how we are all warned from the moment we’re born — don’t do this, don’t do that, if you do, this is what’s going to happen… etc. But, even if we don’t mean to disregard their advice, we do it anyway. Sometimes, multiple times. You know why? You guessed it; human nature!
I mean, I’m no expert, but that’s elementary information.
Sure, some advice is nice. But, and I’ve always said this, you have got to do your own living. Life is a roulette that never stops spinning. And, sometimes, no matter how much we prep for it, all we can do is watch and take what we get. If we’re lucky, we get more rewards than punishments on this wheel that we have no direct control of.
What we sort of can control is how we react. So hopefully, you’re making the best of every possible worst outcome.
So, going back to my initial dilemma, I don’t think I’ll be able to play harder than I work (as long as I’m just a “peasant” in this costly life), but I think I can live with an acceptable balance. After all, balance is key.
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