The Feeling You Just Keep Feeding
What if I put it in colors, I said, staring at the hundreds of unused color pencils resting on my table. Actually, what if I put it in writing? But how can I put it; there’s no way to put it. I can’t make sense of, you know, that feeling that you just keep feeding, and which proper diet you can’t quite figure out.
Some emotions are hard to express when you don’t even know what they mean. I wish everything was as easy as happiness and anger, which we can identify right away, apply logic and manage accordingly. But, oh no. Life is more complex than that, and that can be frustrating. Emotions may get all tangled up in your head, and perhaps even in your throat.
Is it grief? Misery? Is it bliss? Denial? Is it friendship? Is it freneminess? Is it love? Is it lust? Really, what is this feeling? You can’t shake it off or tell it apart. And, the worst is when it just lingers on…
It’s a confusing language we don’t speak, this miscommunication between the heart and the brain. Don’t be surprised if you’ve been asking yourself the same question for a long time and still don’t have an answer. I would tell you to be patient, but impatience is what led me to write about it. At some point things become clearer and the pieces fall into place, though. Peace of mind shall be restored. I have faith in that.
Try to not let those emotions take over your life. Distractions help. Maybe reading as much as possible about emotions we feel, but can’t explain, could help in the process of making sense of it all.
