Another Reason (I Don’t Need)

I don’t need another reason to remember why I hide.
I don’t need another reason to remind me why
I chose this single life; that I’ve been running
all this time.

I don’t need another reason to question my choice
or regret the detours I take when I hear your voice.
I don’t need another reason to hate your indifference,
or my senseless devotion
and the inevitable effects of oxytocin.

I don’t need another reason to fool my intelligence,
to lie to my family, my friends, my readers,
my own goddarn self
who knows the truth deep in her heart.

I don’t need another reason to prove me right;
and I don’t want to have another book to write
to explain why some men will go so far
to have their way, get what they want,
then kiss you goodbye.

I don’t want another reason
to understand why
I don’t understand that.

I don’t need another reason to get attached,
to fall in love, and fall apart.
I don’t need any more darn reasons for that.

I don’t need another reason to drink, certainly not.
Another reason to kill my appetite,
to excessively meditate and exercise
until the end of time.

I DON’T need another reason for that.

I don’t need another reason to play spiteful songs on Spotify
and watch sad movies because I want to cry.
Hell NO; I don’t need another reason.
My eyes are dry.

I don’t need another reason to get no sleep at night.
I don’t need another reminder of why
I’m underappreciated, aggravated, and frustrated at times.

I need no more reasons
to break that ice in your heart.
You’ve already given me
all those reasons,
left and right.